Happy Thanksgiving

The holidays are a difficult time to "feel" thankful. There is so much stress in holiday meal planning, etc...that we easily lose sight of what the holiday is about in the first place.

One of the most stressful thing about the holidays is the breakdown in relationships caused by a number of things.

But when you are finally gathered around the table and God reveals himself in the faces and smiles of others; you realize that whatever it took to bring you to this moment...where you experience the love of family...it was worth it all.

The Pilgrims and Indians struggled with difficulties beyond our comprehension that first Thanksgiving. Yet, they came together and celebrated the goodness and bounty of God and sweet fellowship of friends, neighbors and family.

Celebrate the goodness of God...and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

When Friends Walk Away

I have never been very good at good-byes. My whole makeup is that when I love, I love deeply. I don't open my heart up lightly and I am careful who I allow into my life, but every once in awhile I face the pain of seperation.

There are alot of people who take friendships lightly. They meet someone and after they get what they need out of the relationship, they walk away without so much as a consideration of your feelings. Believe me... an email or text is an inappropriate way to handle this. It is as bad as writing a "Dear John" letter.

If you haven't guessed yet, this has recently happened in my life. I have considered keeping quiet as I usually do and not addressing it, but my heart was so crushed that I thought it best to deal with it here at my blog because I know that I am not alone. I was going to try to discuss it with the "friend who walked away" but it was evident that they were hostile and it would be of no use to even try.

The Bible says that in order to have friends we should show ourselves friendly.

I am a Pastor's wife. I cannot help that. That is my title and position in this life. I love my calling and I try very hard to serve the Lord faithfully. When I consider a person safe enough for a relationship outside of the normal functions of the church, it is a BIG deal and a major decision to me.

BUT...it can be so heartbreaking...especially when a "friend" decides to make certain changes in their lives and move off to what they deem "greener pastures"... and then... they dump you!

It hurts, it's not fair, and it is inappropriate. Let's not call it Christlike bahavior...because to treat anyone this way is not even a type or shadow of walking in the love of Christ toward fellow believers and fellow laborers as commanded by the Lord.

When I invest in peoples lives, I invest until it hurts. Being in my position as Pastor's wife it makes loving people a greater risk than it would be ordinarily. After spending countless hours helping, consoling and loving people through difficulties and crisis, one would expect a mature way of saying...good-bye. Correct me if you want, but if you are truly friends....is there really "good-bye" because you desire to attend another church? Let me just add this while I am at it...God calls people into all kinds of ministry, but after they are where He has called them to be and they are entrusted with the care and ministry of the family of God where they are at...He would not call them to leave immediately.

Here is my opinion:

1. You better have prayed and fasted before you make a decision to leave. There are peoples never dying souls at stake! We are commanded ...to be careful not to offend "these little ones".

2. You should go directly to your Pastor and inform him of your decision and then give the church you are serving a notice. You accepted the position to serve the LORD... not a secular boss. You would never left your secular job without integrity...then why would you treat God's work and people with less respect?

3. If you have been closely connected to others in friendships outside of the church. Don't just dump on them. Be mature enough to go to them and whatever you do....don't do it in a chat room online after midnight. I guarantee that if you dump them like this...they will see that you as a person with no substance..."shining like a diamond, but when tried...a cubic zirconia"...and they will never allow anyone to do that to them again.

4. If you have made the mistake of not excercising any of the above...Don't blame them for not liking or accepting your behavior. Be an adult, apologize, take responsibilty for falling short and go make things right. "You may even win their confidence back."

5. Quit being selfish! Remember, this is not about you, it is about Jesus and helping others to the Kingdom. Who would want our Jesus if they think that this is the way he expresses love to those he is in covenant with?

6. If you have done any of the above...realize that you are not the only one who falls short of God's glory. Just do what you can to resolve, restore and repair by following the steps above.

True Friends never really walk away. Jesus said that, "greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 That is how greatly he loved us....don't you think we could love others better?

For those of you who have been dumped.....Shake it off! They were never true friends anyway. Learn from it and walk on.